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Extended Family Friends and Close Contacts
Notifications
Begin notifying people and organizations that need to be informed of the passing but were not part of the immediate notifications. This may include extended family, close friends, neighbors, religious or community affiliations, schools, and the deceased's employer. Consider who may need to assist with arrangements, provide support, or be notified to prevent future communications, services, or obligations.
Frequently Asked Questions
Process
What is the proper etiquette for notifying extended contacts?
After immediate family is notified personally (phone or in person), extended family and friends can be reached by phone, text, or email. A brief, respectful message works well: include the person's name, date of death, and service details if available. For acquaintances and professional contacts, email or a written note is appropriate. Avoid mass text messages if possible—even a brief personal touch (using their name) shows respect.
What information should I include in a death notification?
Include: the deceased's full name, date of death, and general cause if the family wishes to share it. Add funeral or memorial service details (or "details to follow"). Include how to send condolences (mailing address, memorial fund, or "in lieu of flowers, donations to [charity]"). If there is an online obituary, include the link. Keep the tone warm but factual—this is not the place for lengthy tributes.
How do I handle notifying people with difficult relationships to the deceased?
Estranged family members, ex-spouses, and people with complicated histories still deserve to be informed—they may have unresolved feelings that make knowing important. Keep the notification brief and factual. You are not obligated to include them in private family events, but informing them of the death and public service details is the respectful choice. If direct contact would be too difficult, ask a mutual acquaintance to relay the information.
Should I use a notification list or delegate this task?
Yes to both. Create a master contact list organized by priority: (1) must call personally, (2) can call or text, (3) email or written notification. Then delegate—ask 2-3 trusted friends or family members to each take a portion of the list. Provide them with a brief script or key information to share. This prevents the overwhelming burden of making dozens of emotionally draining calls while ensuring no one is forgotten.